


Stupid, Bad Ideas

by Hambone



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Drabble, Drinking, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-21
Updated: 2014-12-21
Packaged: 2018-03-02 15:11:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2816699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hambone/pseuds/Hambone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodimus and Drift do something dumb hoping that it will get them into something dumber.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stupid, Bad Ideas

**Author's Note:**

> Another drabble for Tumblr.

“No, but really, you gotta try this.”

Rodimus kept pushing the drink towards him. Every time it inched closer, Drift’s smile would get just a fraction too manic before calming back down again, and Ultra Magnus’s headache grew.

“No.”

“Yes?”

_“No.”_

“’Noooothing would be better right now, Rodimus, sure I’ll try this drink you worked very hard to get Swerve to buy for you while he was on fun away time but Rodimus, I mean you, had to stay up here doing boring captain work?’”

“Rodimus!”

Ultra Magnus stood up and both the captain and the unfortunate third leapt off his desk and backed up a few paces, grins straining.

“I am not going to have your inappropriate high grade laced beverage now, or at any other time, and that is final!”

He crossed his arms. Drift shuffled inconspicuously behind Rodimus’s equally stubborn stance.

“Why are you so intent on inebriating me?”

Rodimus relaxed a little then, shrugging.

“It’s not about the high grade, to be honest. Well, it is, just, we already... It’s more uh…”

He spun his fingers around one another in a tight circle, looking at Drift for direction. Drift made several silent but desperate signs for _no, no, no!_ and Rodimus turned back with a big smile on his handsome little face and said, all in one breath, “it’s got stimulators in it which are great and Drift and I thought it might loosen you up a little because we kind of wanted to see if you wanted to mess around with us but we were too scared to ask sober so we drank a little and then we thought it would be weird if you didn’t drink a little and well here we are.”

He froze. Ultra Magnus froze. Drift’s engines stalled almost long enough to make him pass out.

 _“Excuse_ me?”

Rodimus pressed on, clearly nervous but also too hopped up on pushing his damn luck to care.

“We wanted to fool around with you. Like, intimately.”

“A threesome,” Drift offered from behind, ducking back when Ultra Magnus glared so hard at him he felt his fuel pump quake. He had told Rodimus before that he was not getting arrested over something as stupid as an interface proposal, and Rodimus had promised they wouldn’t, but now he was starting to think Rodimus was right if only because that was clearly the least of their troubles right now.

Ultra Magnus pinched the bridge of his nasal ridge.

“Let me get this straight: you two wanted to give me a drink that would make me loosen up, because you had already had some, so you could offer to have a threesome with me.”

“Yeah.”

The silence that stretched across a single nano-klik was taught enough to snap.

“Get out of my office before I have you both jettisoned from the airlock!”

They burst out into the hallway, clutching at each other’s hands like children as Ultra Magnus continued, entirely too loudly, about the seven kinds of paperwork he was going to make Rodimus fill out for that discretion.

“I told you that was a terrible idea!” Drift said, almost laughing.

“No you didn’t!”

They tripped over each other and rolled a few feet down the hall, somehow managing to end up kissing before they skidded to a halt.

“Well, it was.”

He still smelled sweet and colorful like the drink and Rodimus took a moment to just admire his jawline.

“He’ll come around.”

“I doubt it.”

They kissed themselves dizzy.


End file.
